"All the words that we said and the words that we mean..."

Well I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I've been gone for awhile.

Turns out August 1st, 2005 was a day that I just can't seem to describe in any way other than saying, it was life-altering.

So things have been different here. The travel plans changed to funeral-traveling and well, life stopped for a bit. Unfortunately, or fortunately (I'm not quite sure which), life has, almost as abruptly, started up again. I realized classes started on Wed morning when at about 10pm on Tuesday night my friend realized we didn't have any pencils and we were off to Walmart for school supplies.

So anyhow, no sad words or pity necessary, I'd rather leave all that out of this blog. Fortunately I am lucky enough to have amazing friends and family to take care of all that.

So with that, I'm going to ponder a bit about the future of my blog. My first instinct was to just take it down, shut it off, delete the last posts and move on with my life. But then with SP and GOAL retiring I thought it might seem like I was just another copy-cat.

But here I find myself, reading my blog at 4am. I didn't even realize I had posted that day. It was so strange reading it. So with my mind reeling and suffering from insomnia, I needed an outlet.

I took my adderall for the first time in a long time today, at like 3pm. Time release amphetamines will definitely keep you up for pretty much all of eternity if you aren't careful. So hence, you are blessed with an insomniac...

I went without the meds for awhile because I didn't have time to see a doctor for a refill, and because sleep was so hard as it was, I didn't really want my usual dose of 'speed' keeping me up all night.

Jack Johnson is amazing. I have gone 4 straight weeks with nothing but the "In Between Dreams" album on my laptop. Hence the lyrics on the last post. I really couldn't find any other song to relate to because I didn't have any other songs. bah.

Ooh, brief statement about the change in the title of my blog: I am not very creative so I copied the totally awesome radio station 106.9's motto: "80's, 90's, whatever we want!" I know, I'm lame but give me a break here, at least I'm still posting.

Well I guess I'm getting tired, not really but I feel guilty blogging when I have class in 5 hours...

Lastly I would just like to give a testimony to the power of friendship. I have been blessed with an amazing crew of friends that have been unbelievably helpful through everything. Thank you guys, you are truly amazing and know that we are forever grateful.

Peace and Love and God Bless.
kc

the only words i can seem to find that come close:

"When your mind is a mess so is mine I can't sleep
Because it hurts when I think when my thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make and the chances we take
They're not yours they're not mine
There are waves that can break
All the words that we said and the words that we mean
And the words can fall short, can't see the unseen
Because the world is awake so for somebody's sake
Now please close your eyes
Woman, please get some sleep

Sleep and know that if I knew all of the answers
I would not hold them from you
Know all of the things that I know
Because we told each other there is no other way

Too much silence can be misleading
You're drifting I can hear it in the way that you're breathing
We don't really need to find reason
Because out the same door that it came well it's leaving
It's leaving
Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season
Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves
But at least we could sleep, it's all that we need
When we wake we would find, our minds would be free
To go to sleep

Sleep and know that if I knew all of the answers
I would not hold them from you
Know all of the things that I know
Because we told each other there is no other way"
-jack johnson "no other way"

the afternoon after an all-nighter

Well I was planning on just posting a few brief thoughts while I'm still delirious from having not slept last night. stupid finals. But alas, my finals are over and I can't sleep so, enjoy the ramblings of an insomniac, the afternoon after an all-nighter. We'll start with some ideas I thought might be brief... apparently "living better through chemistry" can lead you to spend an hour writing on your blog even though you haven't slept since umm...

Idea #1: At first I was intimidated by being, what seemed like the only girly, non-SG Gainesville blog out there, I'm beginning to like it. I feel somewhat connected and I like being different. However, I think I might make same changes, which leads me to idea #2.

Idea #2: I think I would like to make a shift from insomniac ramblings, to a group project. Basically, I can't possibly be entertaining enough on my own, and my potential blogging partners have much different interests and can bring in tons of new topics.

Idea #3: Okay I think I'm done with the ideas section. Let's move on.

Random thought: Harry Potter. Wow. The 6th book was amazing, I can't wait for the next one. Its a really dirty trick to make us wait so long...

I just read this blog post about H Pots, and I couldn't even think of what to comment, but I felt like I had to. I have been trying to say the exact same thing for years now.
I actually hated reading in high school. I never read for fun, ever. I actually ended up liking a few High School books, like the Great Gatsby, but only because my English teacher was amazing and she made me like those books.
My freshman year of college, I stumbled into reading the second Harry Potter book. My boyfriend was reading them and he was seriously tearing through them. It was making me so angry that he was reading them so fast, and he would not put them down.
Anyway, he was just always reading these, what I thought to be at the time, stupid books, and he wouldn't stop. So while I was sitting there watching him read, I started reading the pages with him because I was bored.
So as soon as he finished the second one, I picked it up and read it. This was like four years ago and I have loved reading ever since. I tore through those books in like three weeks and was so excited to have read them so fast that I wanted to keep reading, and I have.

So check out that post about Harry Potter. Let me know what you think. I have some friends that are just as obsessed with H Pots as I am, but I still have some that are nay-sayers, and refuse to read the "children's books." I've been trying to get my 16 yr. old brother to read Harry Potter since he was about 12 and he still refuses. He's the same way I was with reading, and I really wish he would at least try to read the book. Stupid baseball players, they think they are so macho. bah.

Okay well CLEARLY I've digressed a tad.

Oh! Greek on a Leash cracked my shit up again today! I know its like the GoaL fan club everywhere you turn, but come on, we all try to be funny, and GoaL is just knocking them dead! My favorite part in GoaL's latest post is definitely, "This is so crazy - I guess I picked the wrong day to quit taking amphetamines..." ha! okay well maybe it wasn't meant in the funny way I thought it was funny, but then again maybe it was.

Well that is all for now. Apparently I'm going to Texas this Thursday, via a train, to pick up a car in Houston, and drive it back here. We will be stopping in New Orleans Sat night and possibly in Ft. Walton Beach Sunday night.
Yes, it is complicated and crazy. It should be a very interesting road trip. I'm sure there will be many stories- possibly some from the train, as I will be taking the laptop with us as our main source of entertainment... I should really start getting some pirated movies.

rock out.

kc